The Uberman Sleep Schedule Is NOT For You If:

• You don't have a huge list (physical or mental) of things-you'd-love-to-do-if-only-you-had-the-time
• You love sleeping for long periods of time
• You love sleeping in on weekends
• You have no problems with sleeping (no sleep disorders, no soreness, no schedule issues, no moral complaints)
• You have trouble filling your time
• You are not willing to torture yourself a little for greater gains
• You value being "one of the herd", blending in, doing what everybody else is doing
• You are uncomfortable being alone at night
• You are uncomfortable going out at night (this one doesn't matter if you won't have to go out, but most people will, to avoid waking up the rest of the house!)
• You do not have the capacity for iron self-control in the face of devastating physical urges
• You're no good at scheduling or being on time / you hate clock-watching (meaning, you can't tolerate it for a few weeks or months)

...There, that's a list I've been meaning to make for a while. It's all things I've said before somewhere, but as we all know, God will reward the Consolidators. (C'mon, it makes more sense than rewarding Fred Phelps!)

And yes, all of the above applies in the negative quite perfectly to me. I keep lists like some people keep cats; I sat through nine hours of tattoo-gun just to have a pretty picture on me; I prided myself on making minimal noise while giving birth; I'm rabidly punctual; I hate wasting half my life sleeping and don't do it very well anyway; and I couldn't be "one of the herd" if there was a whole storeful of anime hanging in the balance. Sad, but true.

So now you know.

-PD